Keeping it REAL

So here we go 2013!

It's been awhile since I have posted on our blog. It's time that I get back to the basics and document our family "keeping it real".  Old draft posts for 2012 will be popping up as I get pictures added to them.

I changed the title to our family blog because I thought that saying is more fitting for our family. Everyday brings a new adventure and life lesson. Sometimes our adventure is happy, sad or just plain frustrating, so we are keeping it real. Promise that is the last time I will say that. Well maybe not, but for this post yes.

My 2013 goal is to Simplify! Simplify ME, Family, and Home! So throughout the months, I will update what I am working on and what I have accomplished or just plain threw out.

My last post was in 2011, I have quite a few draft posts for last year, but honestly 2012 was horrible and a blur. I was happy to have 2012 end, but the start of 2013 has come with it's challenges as well.

The year started with knee surgery for me. The day was a normal Friday and I was picking up Emmett at therapy. Whenever I pick Emmett up from school or therapy or any location, I usually squat down to greet him with a hug. Like I said, just a normal day, getting the updates from the therapists, got a big hug from Emmett, then I went to stand up. My knee popped and locked and down I went like a wounded elephant to the floor. I let out a scream, not loud, but apparently loud enough to catch the attention of the whole waiting room of parents picking up their special need children. Emmett freaked out. He didn't know how to process his mom on the floor not able to stand up or kneel.

Emmett's PT came over to assist me. I was able to move from the floor to the chair with excruciating amount of pain (worse than I have ever experienced). I couldn't straighten my leg, I couldn't put weight on my leg, and now I can't comfort my son who is freaking out. Emmett's freak out is running away. So he started to run around the therapy place and then outside to the parking lot. Scary!!! The normal thing is I could chase him, but normal was gone for today.

I got ahold of Scott and told him he needed to come get me & Emmett because I couldn't walk or drive. My husband in his fun loving way comforted me over the phone by saying, "You've fallen and you can't get up!" He picked me up and  took me to the doctor, where they tried to straighten and twist my leg for x-rays. Oh man, I have never cried and screamed so much (child birth was a walk on the beach compared to this pain). X-rays showed I didn't break anything, which I knew.

Picture this, Cindi standing on one leg with the other leg bent at a 90 degree angle. Every step I took with crutches gave a shooting pain. My Friday was ruined and the day was planned for finishing up the arrangements for Paige's birthday party happening at my house the next day. WHAT??!!!!

Luckily, my mom was coming to town for the party and would save the day! Paige was not having a postponement of her party (which at 8 is understandable). So I explained to her that her "Winter Luau" would probably be very low key since mom was couch bound. I took my pain pills and went off to bed. By 7:30 am Saturday morning when I woke, my house was turned into this low key "Winter Luau"! So the "over the top" gene clearly comes from my mom!

Marriage

Marriage article I read-interesting advice. Somethings to ponder.
Today is my fifteenth wedding anniversary. I really love Dan, and I am proud of how awesome our marriage is. (We certainly haven’t killed each other yet. Hell, we haven’t even maimed each other.)-Can totally relate. We have not always been perfect, but we have made two cool kids, and we have always kept it interesting. For two people as weird and intense as Dan and I are, staying together this long is a big accomplishment. I know some people are surprised.


When Dan and I got married, we were 25 years old. Now, we’re staring down the barrel of 40. Looking back I’m surprised we didn’t, as 25 year olds, self-destruct just for the heck of it. Now that we are older, we are perhaps surprisingly also wiser. Here are the things we have learned over the years, that helped us stay married and even happy for fifteen years. (Beyond that, you’re on your own. I can’t promise another 15.) Our list does not resemble the one you will find in Cosmo or Ladies’ Home Journal. We have never had a regular date night, nor do we prioritize “communication” or play sex games or see a therapist. He doesn’t bring me flowers every Thursday, I don’t cook his favorite food very often. But we do have some other ideas.

1. Go to bed mad.
The old maxim that you shouldn’t go to bed mad is stupid. Sometimes you need to just go to freakin’ bed. “Let not the sun go down upon your wrath” is prefaced in the Bible by the phrase “Be angry and sin not.” So, who’s to say it doesn’t mean “Stay angry, bitches. Don’t let the sun go down on that awesome fierce wrath of yours.” Seriously. Whoever interpreted this to mean that you should stay up after midnight, tear-stained and petulant, trying to iron out some kind of overtired and breathy accord -- was stupid. Shut up, go to bed, let your husband get some sleep. In the morning, eat some pancakes. Everything will seem better, I swear.

2. Laugh if you can.
In any fight, there is one person who is really mad, and one person who isn’t that mad. That person should deflect the fight. Make a joke, do something stupid or corny, make the other person laugh. If the fight is very serious for you and you feel like you really want to plant your flag and die on this hill, fine. Do it. But if you’re fighting for entertainment, or because you’re just reacting, then you be the one to deflect. Fights are bad. Deflecting a fight whenever possible is a good idea. When you’re the one who’s being pissy and raw, and the other person helps you get out of it and brings about peace, that feels fantastic. This was a hard lesson to learn, for me. Letting Dan deflect a fight is the best thing, now. He does it really well.

3. Don’t criticize. Ever.
Here is a fact: Whatever critical thing that you are about to say to your wife is already being loudly articulated in her head. And if it’s true, she already feels like crap about it. Assuming you married someone intelligent enough to like you and sane enough to let you put a ring on it, trust that they are self-aware enough to know when they screwed up. It may feel good to you in that moment to say the critical thing, let it go ringing through the air in all its sonorous correctness, but it will feel awful to hear it. The only, only way it’s beneficial to give your wife criticism of any kind is if you’re absolutely positive she is completely unaware. And you better find the nicest, kindest way possible to tell her. And even then, good luck convincing her. Their recognition of the thing you are helpfully trying to point out will be INHIBITED, not facilitated, by your criticism. And then you’re the asshole. So be careful.

4. Be the mirror.
Your husband is the mirror in which you see yourself. And the things you say to him give him an image of himself too, which he will believe. You want him to believe it, so make it good. Be a mirror that reflects something positive: you’re smart, you’re successful, you’re fantastic in the sack, you’re a great provider, you’re the best. Can you MAKE him any of these things just by telling him he is? I don’t know, but consider this: the alternative really sucks. The things my husband says to me are 1000 times more convincing than anyone else’s opinion on earth. Don’t think he won’t believe you because you’re married and you’re contractually obligated to say nice things. He’ll believe the shitty, insulting things you say, and the gloriously positive things. Listen to Nico, girls:

5. Be proud and brag.
Let your spouse hear you talking about them in glowing terms to other people. Be foolish. Be obvious. It will mean everything. You will stay married forever.

6. Do your own thing.
Dan races bicycles. I write books. I don’t race bicycles or have any desire to race bicycles. He doesn’t write books, nor does he even read the books that I write. Seriously. And I don’t care. My opinion is that he’s the fastest, coolest most awesome bike racer ever. His opinion is that I’m the bestest, coolest writer ever. We don’t have to know all about cycling or writing in order to form these opinions -- in fact knowledge of literature or actually reading my book might damage Dan’s opinion of me as “best writer since the dawn of time.” We can still support each other without being all up in the other person’s stuff. Doing your own thing, having your own friends, being completely insanely passionate about something that the other person has no idea, really, about, is awesome. It allows your spouse to be your cheerleader, uncomplicated by knowledge or personal investment. And it means you’ll always have stuff to talk about, because you’re not overlapping all the time. You don’t have to read the same books either. You don’t have to have the same friends.

7. Have kids.
Kids stop you from being as crazy as you want to be. Because when you have kids, you can’t be that crazy.

8. Get really good at sex.
You’ve got all the time in the world to get really really good, not just at sex in general, but at having sex with your one particular husband. You should make it your life’s mission to become the perfect sex machine exactly for him. And he for you. There is no reason to hold back, or be embarrassed, or not ask questions, and get everything working properly. There’s absolutely no excuse for letting years drag on without becoming fully skilled, gifted sex partners for each other. It makes everything so much better. Does talking about this make you uncomfortable? How uncomfortable would it make you to know that your spouse is secretly, silently “just okay” with your sexual performance? Yeah. You want to last fifteen years, remember? That’s a long time to be mildly happy.

9. Move.
Live in different houses. In different parts of the country. Travel. Make it so that you can look back and divide up your life into the years you spent in different cities, or different houses. If you’re feeling stuck geographically or physically, you can confuse yourself into thinking you’re stuck romantically. See your husband in different places, in different contexts, in different countries even. Try it. Take him to a mountaintop and give him another look. Pretty sexy. Take him to a new city and check out his profile. Along the same lines, don’t be afraid to change personally, or let your wife change as a person. Don’t worry about “growing apart.” Be brave and evolve. Become completely different. Don’t gather moss. Stagnation is unattractive.

10. Stop thinking temporarily.
Marriage is not conditional. It is permanent. Your husband will be with you until you die. That is a given. It sounds obvious, but really making it a given is hard. You tend to think in “ifs” and “thens” even when you’ve publicly committed to forever. If he does this, I won’t tolerate it. If I do this, he’ll leave me. If I get fat. If I change jobs. If he says mean things. If he doesn’t pay more attention. It’s natural, especially in the beginning of your marriage, to keep those doubts in your head. But the sooner you can get go of the idea that marriage is temporary, and will end if certain awful conditions are met, the sooner you will let go of all kinds of conflict and stress. Yes, you may find yourself in a horrible situation where it’s absolutely necessary to get a divorce. But going into it with divorce in the back of your mind, even in the way way way back of your mind, is going to cause a lot of unnecessary angst. Accept that you’re going to stay with him. He’s going to stay with you. Inhabit that and figure out how to make THAT work, instead of living with the “what if”s and “in case of”s.

11. Do not put yourself in trouble’s way.
Leave your ex boyfriends and girlfriends alone. I’m sure you’re very trustworthy. Aren’t we all? The thing is, there’s absolutely no reason to test it. Your husband and your marriage are more valuable than any friendship. Any friendship that troubles the marriage should be over immediately. Protect it with knives and teeth, not because it’s fragile but because it’s precious. Don’t ass around with a “hall pass” or a “harmless flirtation.” Adultery isn’t an event, it’s a process with an event at the end. Don’t put your feet on a path that could lead someplace bad.

12. Make a husband pact with your friends.
The husband pact says this: I promise to listen to you complain about your husband even in the most dire terms, without it affecting my good opinion of him. I will agree with your harshest criticism, accept your gloomiest predictions. I will nod and furrow my brow and sigh when you describe him as a hideous ogre. Then when your fight is over and love shines again like a beautiful sunbeam in your life, I promise to forget everything you said and regard him as the most charming of princes once more. The husband pact is very useful because you want to be able to vent to your friend without having her actually start hating your husband. Because you don’t really mean all those things you say. And she, the swearer of the pact, knows this.

13. Bitch to his mother, not yours.
This is one I did read somewhere in a magazine, and it’s totally true. His mother will forgive him. Yours never will. If you’re a man, bitch to your friends. They expect it.

14. Be loyal.
All the crap you read in magazines about honesty, sense of humor, communication, sensitivity, date nights, couples weekends, blah blah blah can be trumped by one word: loyalty. You and your spouse are a team of two. It is you against the world. No one else is allowed on the team, and no one else will ever understand the team’s rules. This is okay. The team is not adversarial, the team does not tear its members down, the team does not sabotage the team’s success. Teammates work constantly to help and better their teammates. Loyalty means you put the other person in your marriage first all the time, and you let them put you first. Loyalty means subverting your whims or desires of the moment to better meet your spouse’s whims or desires, with the full understanding and expectation that they will be doing the same. This is the heart of everything, and it is a tricky balance. Sometimes it sways one way and some the other. Sometimes he gets to be crazy, sometimes it’s your turn. Sometimes she’s in the spotlight, sometimes you. Ups and downs, ultimately, don’t matter because the team endures.

15. Trust the person you married.
For two people who are trying to help each other, it can almost be harder to let the other person help you than it is to be the one who’s helping. It can be harder to let the other person deflect the fight than to be the one deflecting. It can be harder to believe that your husband is fully committed to a lifetime of marriage than to commit yourself. Harder to change yourself than to let the other person change. Harder to be loved than to love. Weird, but true. I’m saying this to everyone who’s newly married, and to myself: trust that person. Love them completely and let them love you. If it all goes to seed, it’s going to hurt either way. Better to have gone into it full throttle. Full throttle marriage is a thrilling ride.

What's the point?

I thought about waiting to post all my 2011 posts until I was caught up with 2010, but what's the point? So below is how 2011 is going so far - kind of rocky, but faith building.

I have more posts that are ready just need to load pictures and then I can publish them. So keep checking back - more of the Morgan clan finishing up 2010 and cruising through 2011 will be posted soon.

Here's to getting up close and personal!!!

Do you ever wonder?

What a day today has been, I don't think my heart and mind can take much more. Do you ever wonder about your kids? What makes them tick, make their decisions, choose their friends, and so on? I am constantly consumed with this. How do I teach my kids to make the right decisions at the right time during or not during a crucial moment? How do I teach them to constantly think of Jesus and make decisions based on him? Did I as a child? Not always, but I always had a consequence in the back of my mind. Do my kids have the consequence thinking built in - if not, how do I teach them this?

So many questions. So many hours on my knees pleading to the Lord for direction. I don't necessarily want this burden to be lifted, but I would like some (ok a lot) of guidance through it. I am at my wits end of how to talk to my kids or teach my kids.

What's all this stemming from? A few things, but today in particular a phone call from the school principal. I don't know if you have ever received a call or not, but no parent likes to hear the principal tell you that your child has made some seriously BAD choices at school. Choices that don't only affect them but others as well.

Oh that's another thing I need to learn to convey to my kids is that their choices (or consequences) don't only affect them but others as well.

I digress. The call from the principal through me for a loop, didn't see it coming, didn't have the signs at home to know something was coming. Or maybe I did have the signs, but was hiding my head. Oh I don't know.

Do you ever wonder if other parents worry as much about their kids as you do about your own? I wonder if non-lds parents care about their kids choices and the effects of them. This is no way of a preachy post or a post saying that I am doing it right - far from it. Instead a post of complete and utter frustration. I was frustrated with my kids at first about the call, but then ultimately frustrated with ME. Why can't I get this right? Clearly I am not teaching in a way for my kids to understand the importance of choices and consequences.

My kids are such a blessing to me in my life. At one point in my life I never thought I would be able to have children, let alone 4 beautiful spirits. Now I have them, and a huge responsibility to teach them so they too can make it back to live with our Heavenly Father - a responsibility that scares me to death.

Do you ever wonder if the Lord is just as frustrated as you are because he is trying to talk/teach us and we aren't getting it - just like I am trying to talk/teach my kids and they aren't getting it? Oh what to do? I guess back to my knees...

My heart is full

For the past few days my heart has been so full. My emotions on the surface, and the spirit's guidance so strong. I am so overwhelmed with the feelings that I am having, I have to write them down. My love for Jesus Christ is so real. I am so grateful for his perfect example and for his atoning sacrifice. That he did it all for me (and yes for you too). For the past few fast Sundays I had the feeling that I should stand and share my testimony but have ignored the prompting. Because of that ignorance I am overwhelmed with these feelings. I feel the love that Heavenly Father has for me. I feel the love from him that I know I am a daughter of God. I can count on one hand that I have had this strong of feelings of the spirit and feelings of love from Heavenly Father that I know I need to express my gratitude for them. I need to share my love for the His gospel of truth. For my Savior Jesus Christ and all that he has done for me. The very thought that Jesus has felt/dealt with everything that I am/each one of us is going through or has gone through is amazing to me. He went to the lowest of lows to feel alone, depressed, and pain.

We had a lesson in gospel doctrine on Jesus Christ and his love for us. How can we know. The teacher went on to give examples of the things that Jesus experienced and how they relate to us. He pointed out that Jesus even felt the rejection of a parent when his father had to leave him while on the cross. In my mind I was thinking "yea but he never felt child birth". Then my thought was quickly filled with "did he not bleed from every pore of his body". Um yea I would say that is child birth and then some. Truth be told, I didn't even experience child birth thanks to modern day medicine called the epidural. I am digressing for a minute, the gratitude that I am feeling is overwhelming on all that Jesus Christ did for me so that I would be able to over come sin and live with him again. That fact that I can over come sin and be better makes my heart so full.

My heart has been so full of the love that I have for my children. I don't think that I have felt this strong of a love or maybe acknowledged it as when Emmett became apart of our family. It truly is a blessing and a miracle the children we have in our lives. I have never loved so deeply and never wanted to be a better person and example then having my children. I want my children to know who I am. I want my children to know that I love the Lord. I want my children to know that I love them unconditionally. Though times may get tough and decisions may be made that aren't to my liking, know that I am their mother who loves them no matter what. This I have learned from my own experience with my parents and from the love that I feel from Heavenly Father as I have made decisions that weren't to His liking.

I don't know where I am going with us other than I am filled with love and compassion this day and needed to share it so my heart doesn't explode. I love the Lord. I love my husband and children. I especially love my life.

To those of us still waiting for the healer to come - will he take my hand, will he carry me away in these lonely time will he carry me away. And to those of still waiting for the healer of our wounds, it's not hopeless it's just Friday but Sunday's coming soon.

Party for a Princess

The kids are allowed to have a friend party on their even year of birth. I don't think Scott and I thought that through very well cause it turns out all 4 kids turn an even number all in the same year! lol

Since Paige turned 6 she decided to have a Barbie Princess Party. She invited 5 of her friends to dress up and come to her castle for a party. I love party planning and decorating.

Party invitation!

Paige wanted a Barbie cake, so I tried my hand making and decorating a Barbie cake. Here are the steps of my cake decorating.

1st Step - baked cake - start of skirt

2nd Step - butter cream frosting

3rd Step - dyed fondant blue, place fondant on cake

4th Step - Add fondant top to Barbie

Place Barbie in cake

Backside of Barbie cake

Look how beautiful she turned out!

So Pretty

Fondant tiara!

Close-up

Princess Barbie Cake!!

Our home turned into the Castle!

The Castle entrance

Tulle entrance into the ballroom (FYI-I made the tulle canopy)

Gift Table - party bags for the princesses

Ballroom

Grandma (aka Cinderella) and Princess Paige

Princess Paige blowing out her candle

Activity - Princess candy necklace making

Princesses making their candy necklaces

For an activity the girls decorated their own Barbie gowns

The party princesses showing off their decorated barbie dresses

The party was a huge success. So exhausting, but so much fun! I love Paige, she truly is my princess. Somedays I may say "Why a girl?", but in the end she is my pride and joy and so much fun!

Happy 6th Birthday Paige!

More 2010 to follow

Disneyland Vacation
Thanksgiving
Emmett's Birthday
Preschool
Christmas
New Year's