Pitty Pot

Ever have "one of those days", that turned into "one of those weeks", that turned into "one of those months", that threatened to turn into "one of those years"? I have, it happened in 2007 and was hoping it ended in 2009, but as of today, no such luck, it has rolled over to 2010.


Disclaimer: This is not an uplifting post, not meant to be a cry for help post - just a "I'm in my pitty pot" post and frankly don't want help out right now, just want to talk myself through it. So this post maybe offensive, do I apologize? Not sure, cause this is how I feel and this is my blog (journal).

Talking to myself and feeling old

Nothing ever seems to fit

Hangin around, nothing to do but frown

What Ive got they used to call the blues

Nothing is really wrong

Today the weather is crappy (probably adding to my mood), and haven't slept throught the night in a really long time (probably adding to my mood). I was out on facebook this morning and read a status update from a friend who commented on getting the kids out the door to school on time today, then 3 of her friends commented with "that's great! come have lunch today at 11:30am" and then another friend said, "that's great come to kick boxing with me at 9 then lunch at 11:30". Oh how my heart sunk. I miss friends. I miss doing fun things. I don't have that here.

Then I started thinking maybe it's me, maybe there are ladies in the ward and neighborhood who do do this and I am not apart of it because of "me". I want to move. I want to go back to where I have friends. I want to go where ladies do want to get together. I am not saying it needs to be everyday. I get that we are all mom's but for pete sake getting together brings something to everyeone.


Then the real me started talking in my head, the ladies around here probably don't get together cause everyone is so consumed with their own life and their own problems that heaven forbid we think of helping or getting together with others. What I just said applies to me as well, some of the time, but not all of the time. I make calls to "friends" (or so I think that they are or were) and I get the big fat "NO" or "Call me again, definitely next time". See my dilemna, so I stop calling.


I called Scott. I need to share my feelings, if I don't then I can't possibly get this crappy feeling out of my system or improve my day. So we talked. Don't know if that was a good thing or not, cause he expressed some of the same feelings that I am having. Same opinions that I have about our so called friends. So I say to him, "You know what I need to do? I need to go to the Temple. I need to go desperately this weekend, you and I". He said, "I keep forgetting to talk to you about this, but we are going as a EQ Presidency Friday night and the wives are invited." Oh how my heart sang with joy! Now only to find a babysitter for Friday night.


I need to get back to the Temple it has been a few months and oh how I miss it. My life seems to hum better and inspiration tends to come a little easier when I attend the Temple. Surprisingly we secured his sister to watch the kids Friday night so we can go to the Temple. We haven't seen Kara since she moved out on Dec. 1st. She hasn't come to see the kids or visit with us. WHATEVER!


So my pitty party will last a little longer, then I will work my hardest to pull myself out. I hate feeling down. I miss my friends.

Rainy Days and Mondays always get me down.

Birthday Girl

Birthdays are such a special day! I love birthdays! I love making the people I love feel special.

In our family, we only do "friend" birthday parties on the even years of the kids birthdays. Since Paige is 5, we aren't having a party this year. I decided that Paige would love to go the salon and get her nails done. So we had a mom and daughter day. We had pedicures, enjoyed lunch, and then dinner out with the family, and an enjoyable evening with extended family and some friends for cake n ice cream.














Here is Paige and I decorating her "Castle" cake, which she wanted all white this year. So there isn't any definition with lines or flowers or anything. It's the Princess' cake and she can have it anyway she wants it! (For today!)

Here we are getting our toes done. Paige loved putting her feet in the water. She chose pink for her toes with flowers on the big toes, and green for her fingernails. This is what daughters are for! To have fun getting all dolled up and shopping. I have been blessed with a shopper and a trendy girl. It's a good thing and probably a bad thing when she gets older, but for now - it's FUN!!!!
















Who doesn't love dinner at Red Robyn where they will sing and clap "Happy Birthday" to you?!!! My kids love it! Grandma and Grandpa joined us for Paige's birthday dinner.















Then home for presents, cake and ice cream with Uncle Brian and Aunt Kathy, cousin Randy (we caught her before she went back to college), and the Kidders (Deidra and Michael), oh yes, and we must not forget Grandma and Grandpa!!!
















Paige blowing the candle out on her cake.

                             Paige's new birthday outfit.

The Birth of a Princess...

Well 5 years ago today January 7^th, Dr. West said these magical words to Scott and I, “It’s a Girl!!!” We both looked at each other and said, “It’s a girl!” After having 2 boys , we got ourselves a princess. And a princess is what she’s been since the moment she entered into this world.

So may I introduce our Princess Paige…

We are so blessed to have Paige in our family. She brings such creativity, music, and DRAMA! Paige loves to dress up, dance, sing, and even wrestle with her brothers.

Happy Birthday Paige! We love you.

Happy New Year

A new year brings resolutions. Resolutions that you will keep and incorporate into your life and those that you make knowing full well that you won't keep but temporarily.


So here is my first resolution that I knew would be temporary, but was hoping it would make it at least a few months. Truth is it didn't even it make it 2 days.

A New brings another visit to the ER.

Here I was thinking after meeting our family deductible many times over last year with Emmett’s 3 surgeries that we could maybe (hopefully) take a break in 2010.

Well thanks to a family in our ward who doesn’t believe in staying home from church when their children are obviously sick. Then they think they are doing you a favor by giving your child one of their toys that they have hacked on. Yes, I am still very bitter. I can't stand any member of the church who comes to church knowing they are SICK!!!!

So guess what, yep, Emmett ends up getting croup on Jan. 2nd. With Emmett, nothing is easy or simple, so croup landed us in the emergency room. He had trouble catching his breath. He would start retching from the mucus, which he isn't able to retch due to the surgery he just had. So with all of this, we ended up in the ER for breathing treatments and steroids. URGH!!!!!

So my positive attitude for 2010 is already in the crapper!!!

Gone for 6 days...

The day after Christmas I left town with my parents. My dad is scheduled to have surgery on Dec. 29th in Missoula Montana. No my parents don't live in Montana and aren't from there, but their doctor in Twin recommended my dad go to the specialist in Montana, best in the West. So off we went.

My dad has a tumor on his thyroid that reaches down to his lung. It has moved his esophagus and is now putting pressure on his lungs. Thankfully the tumor is not cancer, but it so large that it is taking over my dad's chest. So it must be removed. My dad's thyroid is lower than most people's, so when it started to develop this goiter, it grew down and out. This is why it took so long to detect.

I didn't like the idea of my mom being alone in the waiting room while my dad was in surgery. It wasn't right. No one should be alone in the waiting room, I have been there and it isn't fun. Also, my mom has been there for me with all my kids but especially over the past 2 years since Emmett's birth.

I made arrangements with Scott and with a couple of ladies in the ward to help out with the kids. I feel really blessed that the sisters I asked were willing to help me in my time of need. I was going to be gone for 6 days.

We left early Sunday morning for drive from Twin Falls to Missoula Montana. We stopped in Idaho Falls to visit with Grandma Hackworth (my dad's mom). Then off for the rest of our drive. I sat in the back and worked on my laptop for the entire 8 hour drive. I was updating all the Primary stuff getting ready to roll over for the new year.

After a day of travel we arrived in Missoula, found our hotel and relaxed. Then Monday, we met with the doctor and finalized our questions/concerns. Tuesday, we were up, dressed, and at the hospital by 7am. Dad's surgery took 5 hours. It was a long grueling day.

As we met with the doctor after surgery he said that Dad's goiter was huge like the size of a football. He said that this thing had been growing for 30 years. What? I asked, "How do you know it has been growing for 30 years, does it have tree circles?" The doctor laughed, apparently he thought I was trying to be funny, when really I just wanted to know why he thought 30 years. Then he realized I wasn't trying to be funny, but that I was serious. He said, "Well we can tell how long the tumor had been growing by the blood vessels that were in it and broken off." Then I piped in, "So kind of like the tree circles, huh?" He said, " Yes kind of like that".

Amazing, all these years my dad had no idea. Here is a picture of my dad after surgery. The doctor cut his throat from ear to ear. Then he put drains out of his chest to drain all the fluid that was filling up this huge empty cavity where the goiter was. My dad's body needed to move all the organs back to their proper place and that would fill up the empty cavity.

So my dad is home and healing well. His throat has gone down in size and he actually has definition around his chin.

I'm thankful for a wonderful husband who was supportive and understanding of me being with my parents during their time of need. I am also so very thankful for the two sisters in the ward who willingly served me and my family. Truly feeling blessed.

Merry Christmas

Our Christmas morning started off around 6am. Garhett was the first up and excited to see what Santa had brought. Slowly the rest of the kids and family made their way downstairs to the Christmas tree. We spent the morning opening presents with Grandma and Grandpa. We were so very blessed this Christmas season.

In the afternoon, Brian and his family joined us for Christmas dinner and a little Wii fun! Brian’s family gave us a Wii game called “Just Dance”! So Robyn, Randi and the rest of us took turns trying our skills at dancing. We had so many laughs. Here a few photos and a videos of our dancing fun.

Christmas Eve

As I went visiting teaching this month, the lesson was on Nurturing through compassionate service.  This lesson really touched me. I have had quite a few feelings lately about teaching our children to be more compassionate and to not be so selfish and demanding. I don’t want my children to think that everything is only about them. I want them to feel compassion towards others.  So for Christmas Eve we continued a family home evening lesson that was taught about service.

Today we decided to teach our children the importance of giving rather than only receiving the gifts that we want. Our ward has been sending around emails regarding this day shelter called Corpus Christi House. So we had a family home evening lesson about people and families that don’t have the same things as we do. Some people and families are lacking a place to live, a car to take them places, and food to eat. So in order to help those that have less, we decided to give warm winter jackets and some other essentials that were needed.

I have to say that our children did very well. Paige was very concerned about the people who are at the shelter, especially the children.  We took the children to the store and each one of them picked out a winter coat in their size that we could give to the shelter. We went into the shelter as a family to donate the items. Everyone was so friendly and so appreciative of the items we brought.

Our children felt so good. Then the questions started, why do they live there? Why don’t they have jobs? What do the children do? So our Christmas Eve was spent talking about how blessed we are and the things that we can do to help others.

I am so thankful for the birth of Jesus Christ. For this opportunity that Scott and I took to teach our children the importance of giving and to have compassion. 




Before our children headed off to bed to see what Christmas morning would bring. They sprinkled reigndeer food outside so that Santa would know where to find us.